Hey, after a bad breakup, the first thing you gotta do is let yourself feel the hurt. Don't bottle it up or pretend like everything's okay when it's not. We all know it's not okay, and pretending won't make the hurt go away. If you ignore your feelings, they'll just come back to bite you later.
Now I'm not saying you should go crazy or anything. Never threaten your ex - that'll only make things worse. There are healthier ways to deal with what you're feeling.
You gotta accept that you won't get over your ex overnight. Getting over someone takes time. Use this time to learn and grow as a person. You'll be better off mentally for your next relationship.
So feel the pain, but don't let it consume you. Give yourself a time limit on mourning the relationship. When the anger starts coming up, and believe me it will, find safe ways to let it out without hurting anyone.
If you still have a picture of your ex around, draw a target on it and pin it to a wall. Then grab some marshmallows and stand about 10 feet back. Take turns throwing the marshmallows as hard as you can at the picture while venting your feelings. Scream it all out - there's about 45 marshmallows so you'll have plenty of chances. When you're done, the mess will be worth it since you'll feel so much better. You might even crack up laughing by the end. See, what bad breakup?
Laughing through the tough times shows you can handle anything. You'll survive this and realize it wasn't the end of the world, just a relationship that wasn't working out.
Give yourself at least 6 months before dating again. When you do start putting yourself out there, take it slow. Play hard to get even - you know what you need now in a relationship.
Don't give up on love - it's the most beautiful thing in the world. Just take your time opening your heart again so you don't get hurt like before. Be upfront with anyone you start seeing that your last relationship ended badly and you want to protect yourself.
Now that you've had some time to process your feelings, it's time to focus on healing and moving forward. Here are a several things given you can do:
Focus on yourself
- Rediscover old hobbies you may have neglected
- Start a new hobby or learn a skill you've wanted to try
- Invest in self-care like exercise, meditation and therapy
Stay busy and socialize
- Reconnect with friends you may have drifted apart from
- Make plans with friends and family regularly
- Join a club or activity group
Reframe your thinking
- Remind yourself that one relationship ending doesn't mean you're unlovable
- Think of this as an opportunity for their amazing personal growth
- Concentrate on the insight you can gain from this experience
The pain will lessen with time. Be gentle and patient with yourself. You've got this - you're resilient and capable of getting through even the toughest of times. Keep moving forward one day at a time, and soon this will just be a memory instead of an open wound.
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